Written by Jaggedone
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Topics: Supermarkets, Rats

Monday, 8 May 2017

image for Well known UK supermarket chain invite rats to shop till they drop!
Sweet little rats are our future Garbage men!

One of UK's largest supermarkets have decided to open their doors to a horde of rats! Instead of attempting to poison them, the supermarket feels rats are a perfect way of ridding the place of discarded food thrown away because the date of purchase has run out and spoilt humans won't touch the stuff!

Rats are being encouraged to jump into shopping trolleys filled with out of date food, the only trouble is, rats tend to put the fear of Christ into punters, although they are quite harmless when fed properly!

The British Health ministry has sent officers to the supermarkets to observe how the rats are behaving and it seems they are doing a grand job in consuming food that is not fit for human consumption, reducing waste and generally making the forecourts cleaner.

Animal rights campaigners, backed by local spiritual groups, say it is right to allow the hordes of rats to run around the supermarket because they believe rats, and indeed all animals, deserve the right to inhabit whatever space they wish.

Gurus have been called in to bless the rats and the supermarket chain hope that their customers will soon enjoy the sight of their "refuse collectors" doing a grand job in cleaning up rubbish that humans really won't touch.

Local man James Cagney, was less pleased with the new furry inhabitants of his local supermarket. He told us: "Those dirty rats. They killed my brother!"

The supermarket are even planning a "Michael Jackson Special Ben Weekend" for people who hate rats to prove how wonderful they really are as long as the ones scampering around are not the river rat version who tend to grow bigger than dogs!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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