Written by BrunetteGirl xxx
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Monday, 27 March 2017

image for George Osborne is a hard worker!
Osborne is open for business

May we join the overwhelming response from Tatton's constituents to congratulate George Osborne on the announcement of his new job as editor of the London Evening Standard newspaper. He's had a passion for journalism for a long time and who wants to write for the Times when you can write for the London Evening Standard anyway? He must have a lot of confidence, high self-belief and a strong constitution knowing that he's now committed himself to juggle five different jobs as part of one expansive career, and he will be expected to deliver an unprecedented standard for each one, with all the challenges and long hours along the way. If he can provide results with no overlapping and the London Evening Standard not missing their deadline for the next day's paper, then we will applaud him.

We can just picture him now; first thing in the morning slumped on the backbenches in the House of Commons jotting down some important notes for his constituents. Then hotfooting it across to the Blackrock offices where he'll spend the rest of the morning giving the hottest financial tips. On his lunch break he will be glaring at the day's news and furiously devising yet another chapter for his upcoming book The Age of Unreason. The afternoon will be spent editing the latest issue of the London Evening Standard in their offices, venting his political frustration in a story and incorporating his personal flavour to the publication.

By evening, a quick taxi to the airport will see him board a plane to America; on the flight he will study and e-mail across some work to the Kissinger academic programme as well as Skype the Northern Powerhouse team to check on it's developments. He will arrive in America to give his one hour speech to some financial big-wigs intrigued by his wisdom. Then he will race back onto the plane where he will have a long sleep, ready to arrive back in Westminster the next morning to repeat the same routine all over again.

He's got it all planned out, what a genius!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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