Written by Tegid Gillott-Jones
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Wednesday, 13 December 2006

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'Highly likely' that Armageddon will take place before the New Year - Reid

Home Secretary John Reid said today that it is "highly likely" that Armageddon will take place before the New Year.

In a speech given to the Tunbridge Wells Women's Institute, the Home Secretary speculated that the deepening and unacceptable levels of poor morality were to blame for the imminent and climactic battle between Good and Evil as mentioned in the number one best seller, The Book of Revelation.

This apocalyptic catastrophe comes as no surprise to the Labour Party Leadership, as the most likely outcome of a Biblical war would be a new world order with God as the unquestionable world leader. The current world leader Tony Blair, who is to leave office before the next election said today that he was, "disappointed but not surprised at this sudden turn in events" adding, "God wouldn't have been my first choice of party leader but I welcome him as a more viable alternative to Gordon Brown."

God's representative on Earth, Pope Benedict XVI, today released a statement in which His Holiness urged, "all those of a Catholic persuasion to stay clear of any Demonic Spirits and False Prophets."

The Spoof attempted to contact God, but he was not available for comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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