A strange, ancient leather, battered suitcase was given to a Welsh charity shop in Porthmadog, Gwynedd, (for US readers = Gobbledygook) and the strange, anonymous owner of the suitcase, bearing an Eastern European accent, disguised as the Elephant Man (Chernobyl affected many!), plonked the suitcase on the counter and did a runner!
The owners of the Charity Shop called in the local Bomb Disposal unit, (you never know these days). After clearance they opened up the suitcase to find detailed plans of HMS Trafalgar, and a note written in Outer Mongolian asking them to donate the ex-Nuclear submarine, once worth a 100 million GB Pounds, and now having a scrap value of 10 quid (GB pounds for non-cockneys) to charity!
Obviously, the Ministry responsible for scrapping ex-Nuclear submarines was informed and they offered a solution to the problem: "It's not our problem anymore, we have been taken over by the US Navy!"
Being Welsh, and quite tight, the owners of the Charity Shop have now claimed their rights to own HMS Trafalgar and will have it towed into Swansea dry docks, inclusive nuclear missiles still on board. It will open as a tourist attraction, and all takings will be given to help African refugees attempting to cross the Mediterranean, hoping for a better life, to stay the hell where they are BOYO because the UK don't want you!