Written by XRhonda Speaks
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Sunday, 5 February 2017

image for Theresa May Bans President Trump's Hair From UK
Theresa May says President Trump's hair is an alien implant and has banned it from entering the UK.

After mulling over a petition signed by over 1.7 million citizens to bar US President Donald Trump from traveling to the UK, the PM instead banned Donald Trump's hair from the UK.

While it's long been rumoured that Boris Johnson's hair is an alien implant, this was the first time May leveled the charge at the US President.

"It's not the man but his hair that is bad, and he might be under alien control if indeed his hair is a Borg implant. I'm also very concerned that if his hair gets too close to Boris Johnson's hair it could cause a critical mass of new Bollywood films designed to demoralize and confuse the public."

May went on detailing how the possible threat to the UK from alien life forms in itself justifies the ban.

"We don't know if these space aliens share our values or if their beliefs are antithetical to everything the UK stands for. Do they even like football? Until we know more about these hair implants and the aliens themselves, the only thing we can do is to ban Donald Trump's hair from entering any of our territories."

Trump responded on twitter in typical fashion.

"The Brits should love me, I nominated Benny Hill for Pope. What else do they want? That alien story is just more fake news from that fake news writer Tom Tomorrow. My hair is my own hair and I've proven that several times already."

Boris Johnson is looking saner everyday in comparison to the US President. The Secretary of State and parliamentarian was relishing his chance to chastise the US Uberass Trump when he spoke out against him.

"President Trump, I remind you it was not Benny Hill, but Benny Hinn you nominated for pope in another of your ridiculous executive orders."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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