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Tuesday, 12 December 2006

image for BBC's Groundforce to Renovate Barbara Bush's Bush
Dimmock is experienced with bush

The BBC proudly announced the jewel in their Christmas crown last night, with news that President Bush had OK'd the redesign of his wife's bush.

The First Lady had been facing some criticism recently with reports that it was tatty and patchy and long overdue for a makeover.

Groundforce presenter, Alan Titchmarsh said last night, "This is obviously a coup for the team, we are very excited and have lots of innovative ideas. Although it looks like a busted sofa at the moment, some onamental grass and a simple, water feature will work wonders."

Unfettered co-presenter, Charlie Dimmock agreed and added, "Luckily the First Lady's area is well lit and with slightly moist conditions, perfect for Herbaceous Perenials and we can add some height to the design with a pergola or gazebo, to create a pleasant, tranquil atmosphere."

The team plan to completely rotovate Mrs Bush's plot and then plant Japanese grass.

"I'm also hoping to put in a small vegetable patch with dwarf French beans and 'Napoli' carrots," said Mr Titchmarch, "This will reinforce the President's wife's international appeal and also give the President somewhere to potter about in quieter, reflective moments, away from the hurly burly of the political arena."

Assisting celebrities in TV programmes is becoming all the rage. Animal hospital is filming an episode where they are hoping to find a home for Jade Goody's beaver, and DIY SOS recently helped tarmac John McCrirrick's box.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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