2006 years after the birth of Christ a woman from Pease Pottage is claiming to have given birth to the new Messiah.
Tracey Mulgrew (25) has made the extraordinary claim on TV's Richard and Judy during a live broadcast. She told the gob-smacked golden couple:
"Well I was very surprised when I gave birth to Wayne 'cos I didn't even know I was up the spout. Me and my partner Kev were visiting Bognor at the time and we couldn't get a hotel room as the travel lodge was full up. But the manager let us kip out the back in the boiler house half price.
Anyway in the middle of the night I had these pains in my tummy that I thought was maybe down to a bad curry. But next thing, out pops little Wayne! You could have knocked me down with a feather" laughs the pretty mother of God.
Richard Madeley then asked her:
"But how do you know that Wayne's the new Messiah then?"
"Well I was getting some rest after the birth when along comes these three geezers dressed up in robes with funny gifts for Wayne. Said they'd been following a star that led them to us".
The Bishop of Southwark, Dr Tom Butler, told The Spoof last night:
"Sheem me? I'm pissed as a newt. It's what I do" slurred the holy man before he fell over and bumped his head.
The Spoof will watch young Wayne with keen interest over the coming years and see how things turn out. If a load of holy innocents under the age of two are mysteriously slaughtered in the next few weeks you'll read about it here first.