Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Prison, Justice

Saturday, 21 January 2017

Police in Dorset have confirmed that escaped convicted killer Jamie Frater "could be a danger to the public". Which was received with a resounding cry of "no shit dick heads".

Jamie has already absconded twice from open prisons was allowed to return to an open prison because of a pinky swear he made to a judge.
Officers were out door to door in Dorset this morning assuring the public that they were doing everything in their power to find him. Including monitoring his mentions on social media, watching Police Camera Action in case he rocks up on there and relentlessly checking the strip bars and lap dancing joints.

A police spokesman said:

"Look I don't come to your place of work and tell you how to do your job so don't you tell me how to do mine! It's my absolute priority to find this....erm...I want to say man but we've lost so many prisoners this week I can't remember which one were all talking about. Now where did I put my hat?"

Mr Frater has absconded from open prisons three times now. Anyone with half a brain cell would just tie a massive fucking rock round his leg if they can't be trusted to lock a dam door.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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