Whitehall, SW1 - (Ass Mess): Prime Monster's wife Cherie Blair has told Breakfast TV about the moment when police officers from the UK's National Poisons Unit raided her Chambers after a number of barristers' wigs tested positive for Plutonium 210 contamination.
Speaking from No 10 Downing Street's private quarters Mrs Blair admitted she had been scared:
"When the Geiger counter started beeping I thought 'Hello, what's this?'
"And when everyone was ordered to strip and leave their clothes on a pile on the floor before walking through a body scanner my immediate first reaction was 'This is a lucrative photo-opportunity for Halo! magazine'.
"Don't you know who I am I asked the officers conducting the probe.
"But they couldn't care less!"
Mrs Blair was speaking to ITV's Breatfast with Tosser programme which regularly interviews famous personalities in exchange for generous donations from their favorite blind trust portfolios.
The programme will be screened as part of the network's Xmas Special at 5am on 6th January 2007.