English custom's authorities, police and military are on red alert after a border invasion of ginger-headed (Not Harry he's got other problems), kilt wearing, whisky smelling, bagpipe playing Scots entered the country today in seek of revenge!
OK, Brexit was hard enough to take, but the thought of losing to the "Old Enemy" at a game of footy in Wembley, tipped the scales and caused a full scale invasion!
In the night thousands of wild, pissed-up Scottish troops were thwarted by English border control officers as they scaled Hadrian's barb-wired wall (in a kilt? OUCH!). Others, attempted to illegally enter the country through needle-hole border controls. The queues got larger and larger as one Scottish rebel known better as Robby-Rave-heart, stormed a barrier formed by English troops single-handed hurling bottles of his favourite brew, whisky of course, donated by Jim Beam (?) deemed tasteless and worthless compared to real Scotch, but booze is booze even if it comes from the US the Scots say!
Tension and nationalistic emotions boiled over through the night as stubborn English troops refused to surrender, but still a few drunken maniacs got through. Scottish National Party / SNP leader, Nicola Sturgeon, then entered the fray, raised her kilt revealing her pussy dyed in family tartan, and this was enough to shock the English troops into surrender as a Scottish tsunami forcibly entered England and is now heading for the Sassenach capital in full force!
English PM, Theresa May, has declared England a disaster zone (has been since 1966) and warned all real-English people (are there any left?) not to confront red-headed maniacs heading south, flashing their ginger cojones; they could be life threatening!