Written by Jaggedone
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Tuesday, 25 October 2016

image for Heathrow or Death-row?
The world is now Heathrow's oyster! Join the f'ing queues!

A dramatic decision, after 60 years (!), has been made to expand London's Heathrow Airport with a 3rd runway (I would prefer to run-away!). Now this wonderful decision, made after the nonsensical Brexit referendum, to invite the globe to England on a brand new runway, is a mega-Conservative cover-up after bungling the UK out of Europe; thanks Boris!

Now let us, in a few sentences of common sense, not nonsense, analyse the consequences of this historical decision:

A) People living in and around the airport will now be bombarded with even more kerosine exiting the engines of even bigger planes starting and landing on the runway 24/7; a very healthy diet!

B) Sales of Chinese noise-blocking earphones will soar, just like the plethora of planes visiting a once so green, great island, wonderful news for China, bum news for those having to wear the damn things!

C) Now if traffic jams on the M25 surrounding London were not bad enough, 24/7, by the way, and the access roads to Heathrow also. Now they will made 10 times worse! So dear passengers, you will have to leave even earlier than the normal time allocated, maybe 4 hours or more (If you're lucky)!

D) After your wonderful trip in a huge traffic jam or on over-crowded trains and buses, caught in jams too BTW, you can then spend even more time standing in huge security queues, check-ins and waiting for your Starbucks!

E) Conservative party leaders (and others), rich business people, VIP's, etc, who travel business or private jet on tax-payers money (Politicians), do not give a shit as long as the mega bucks pour in and England opens it heavenly runways to the world because Europe certainly doesn't want them, and the world is much bigger (the planes too!). So let's open a 3rd runway and welcome everybody from all over the planet on long-haul jets and destroy the global environment even further!

Now where are my Chinese built noise-blockers? I just cannot listen to the garbage flowing out of a sinking nations politicians gobs any longer!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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