Written by SpoofyDoofy
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Tuesday, 11 October 2016

image for "Why were 300 Upton Park stewards sacked?" shrieks the Duchess of Knightsbridge.
Gargantuan levels of empty seats will help West Ham Utd get to the next level!

THE Athletics Stadium, Stratford, LONDON: Following the manhandling ejection of the Duchess of Knightsbridge from the London Stadium, whilst the 'Duchess' was standing up singing the West Ham National anthem and being labelled a 'trouble-maker', serious questions are now being asked…

"I want a full blown ph***ing enquiry as to how Upton Park Stewards are not being used at the London Stadium. These Security personnel are acting like Gauleiters! Can't I stand and sing the West Ham National anthem any-more?"

The Duchess of Knightsbridge is calling on ALL West Ham Utd fans to get behind the new pressure group forming down near the old ground, the Boleyn at the West Ham Supporters Club Castle Street.

"If there has got to be a revolution, I must be part of it!"

"I don't want to return to that hell hole the London Stadium! We must return to the Boleyn Ground at once, do you hear! At once!"

Messrs Gold and Sullivan nodded in agreement and as Co Chairman of West Ham Utd, they made the following brief statement.

"We shall be making complaints about all this, to our MPs!"

With the capacity of empty seats forever growing at the London Stadium and planned to grow even larger and gargantuan, this will help West Ham Utd get to the next level!!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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