St Gawd Elpus College in Devon has hit the headlines around the world as being the first school to ban lessons of any description.
Arthur Flanger of the Local Education Authority told The Spoof.
"Following an Ofsted inspection we were advised that teaching the kids was encouraging some of them to use their brains. This in turn was leading to a few of that group suffering some small degree of mental fatigue and therefore, quite correctly in our view, we were told to suspend all teaching as a safety measure until further notice.
"We immediately contacted the headmaster requesting him to comply with our wishes and so now the children are just hanging about aimlessly waiting for something to happen. At least that's safe" says Phaser.
The Spoof spoke to some of the parents in the playground this afternoon to see what they thought.
"Well it's for the best really. The school doesn't want to be sued for mucking up the kiddies brains, do they?" said mum of 3, Janet Shovel, who quite frankly seemed as thick as two short planks and would believe any old load of bollocks she was told.
"It's bloody madness...the bloody nanny state gone mad" fumed George Windowbox. "I suppose that next they'll be telling us not to grip the end of live electric cables and stand in a bath of water!" he continued to smoulder.
Local GP and child expert, Dr Chorus Pedal, told us:
"It's a bit of a storm in a teacup if you ask me and this time next week we'll all have forgotten about it. Children used to use their brains all the time in years gone by and there was never really any problem"