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Topics: Hell, Thames, Staines

Friday, 26 August 2016

HELL-UPON-THAMES - Following in the footsteps of Staines, which recently re-named itself Staines-upon-Thames, Satan has declared that he will re-name Hell Hell-upon-Thames, as part of a £60 million publicity campaign to increase tourism to the region.

Speaking about the proposed changes, Satan said that: "You see, Hell's recently had a really bad rap in the press, it's not actually that bad a place. And besides, it has a rich cultural heritage, for instance we gave the world Panic at the Disco."

Not everyone is happy about the changes, though. Some Hell residents expressed concern that the new name was too long, wasn't trendy enough or didn't truly represent their community.

Michael Gove, a longtime Hell resident, told us that: "It takes the edge off the place, it used to be that Hell was this edgy, alternative place"

"Now it will be among the likes of Staines" he adds, a shiver running down his spine.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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