Written by Aaron David
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Friday, 22 July 2016

Only one year after opening, the Prestige University of Heapey (PUH, part of UCLAN) has released a report on DNA claiming that all ginger haired people are illegitimate. Professor Heinz Binz told me today.

"The guilt experienced during illegitimate sex creates an unusual combination of hormones. This leads to the birth of ginger offspring."

A number of celebrities including Bonnie Langford, Ed Sheeran, Charlie Drake and Queen Elizabeth I have denounced the report as bigoted propaganda.

Chris Evans quipped. "PUH sounds like a quiet fart that really stinks."

Ho ho ho; you can't keep a good ginger down, or an over-rated, under-talented one.

Prince Charles has declined to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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