Written by Backandtotheleft
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Topics: Europe, tabloid

Wednesday, 20 July 2016

Alarming new statistics have shown that press freedom has declined 14% in the last two years in Europe. This means were no longer allowed to talk about $£$^^$^ ^%&&^%$ or £$"%$"!(*"^"%. We can still talk about Diana's death but that might soon become a "hot topic" and be banned also.

This stifling of the press to cover up stories is something you would normally see in Burma, North Korea or children's homes of the 1970s not in modern day Europe.

We chatted to Dr Charles Jankoff who runs a independent (read heavily discredited due to his hilarious view on hollow Earth) news monitoring organisation.

He said:

"This uptrend in press "gagging" comes at a time where governments all over Europe are getting more and more shady with their activities. Peoples rights are disappearing, freedoms are being eroded, hell we cant even mention *&**^&% ^%^%%%^ $%£$$ *^&*&& %^&$"!!! Anymore. See! See what they did!"

It seemed nobody was safe from the every reaching fingers of the government "press gagging" program. We implore Governments of Europe to pull back from gagging our press. A free press is essential for any democracy to function. We need them to point out holes in policy, expose corruption and take unsolicited photos of celebrities in their bikinis.

How else are we meant to 100% know that Jessica Alba is a woman.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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