Written by mickrikko
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Monday, 27 June 2016

image for "Where's My Bloody Unicorn?" Demands Leave Voter
Brexit! Brexit! Brexit!.... Broken it!

Leave voters across the UK are awaiting the delivery of their brand new unicorns following the historic victory of the Leave Campaign this week.

Derek Wensleydale, 65, a political activist and part time drinker from Scarborough, North Yorkshire, explained that the promise of a free unicorn was one of the central reasons for his decision to vote for Britain's exit from the European Union.

Interviewed while waiting on his doorstep for the postman, Mr Wensleydale seemed very keen to take delivery of the magical beast. "I was very impressed by the campaign, I mean a free unicorn is exactly what I would need to ease my current transport worries. There was other reasons too of course: more bendy bananas, straighter cucumbers, kettles with proper plugs and all that, so I'd be lying if I said it was just the unicorns," he explained, "But you know, the unicorns was the main thing, obviously."

'I just hope that those scroungers down the street don't get theirs before I do.'

When challenged on the financial and political ramifications of the Brexit, Mr Wensleydale seemed quite stoical. "I'm not too bothered about the markets and all that,' he explained cheerfully. 'the pound falling and the shares dropping and all that it doesn't affect people like me, does it? And that's what counts. Anyway, didn't I explain? I'm getting a bloody unicorn!'

'Although, thinking about it, the trouble with the banks that probably might account for the lateness of the delivery of it. I expect that nice Mr Johnson is dealing with it though, he seems to know what he's doing.'

And what about the drop in immigration and the £350m a week for the NHS? Mr Wensleydale chuckled. 'You didn't believe that crap did you? From a Tory? You mug.'

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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