Written by The Big C O Jones
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Friday, 17 June 2016

image for The BREXIT will kill you, Official!

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!! The BREXIT will kill you!

Careful now you pseudo-racist freedom thinkers - (Whoop Whoop) the big bad BREXIT will slain you and your families if you even THINK about voting leave!

"Look what's happened" said Feary McFearface, "the Brexit is omnipresent in real, unreal and surreal realities - it will steal your jobs, decimate your economy - and I mean you personally ...not everybody else! It will have nasty sexual relations with anyone you care about before slashing your throat and laughing in a deviously Mwuhahaha way".

Further reports received have suggested that anyone thinking about Bexit will cause England's failure in the Euro 2016 football competiton and stop the writers of Game of Thrones from scripting unecessary but very welcome gratuitious tit shots - and they will reduce the great lezza scenes too!

Pip Schofield who found out Holly Willaboobies breast implants were made solely of UK produced materials was outraged... "why did she not consider non-UK only knockers - that's it, i'm going to cut them out of her live on air and burn them in a Turkish Barbeque pit to show my love for all things EU".

Recently slain MP (who apparently was amazing, but nobody has ever heard of) said from beyond the grave "hang on - the guy who did me was mentally ill - why is this being classed as some hate fuelled anti immigrant thing - he was crazy - not making a statement supporting why the UK should vote remain for Fucks sake". David Cameron was still blowing on the ink of the contract he had placed his signature on for the execution of the false flag operation so was unable between puffs of smug air and barely contained sniggering to comment.

Remember, the Brexit will kill you and your family, the UK has ALWAYS been in the EU, it was never a successful country in its own right before and has never had any control over its own destiny either - vote Brexit, vote the ghost of Jimmy Saville and raft of 'mysteriously dying high profile' individuals abusing your kids.


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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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