Well you couldn't write the script could you? But judging by what the BBC has lined up for us on Christmas Eve then anybody who can hold a pen the right way probably could!
Because in a totally mental Eastenders storyline bad boy Den Watts is set to return to the troubled show once more to boost falling ratings.
Viewers on Christmas Eve will see disgraced actor Grant Leslie reprise his role for the third time in a plot straight out of a Charles Dickens novel.
Gampton plays Den Marley who is the ghost of Christmas Past and who visits a dying Pauline Fowler and gives her three wishes "so that she may yet do some good"
The former busty Miss Brahms tells Den that she's always fancied him and as she expires he's seen committing lewd acts in front of a web cam. As the drums roll we hear Pauline's last words: "You've done very well"
Anita Dobson told the Spoof:
Leslie is a diamond geezer and a real trooper. He often comes round our gaff and has dinner with me and Brian (May or may not). I'm delighted to see him on the way back up and hope that this is just a new beginning for him.
Dirty Den told the Spoof:
"Life's a funny old game and you don't really know what's around the corner do you?"