Written by Herrdoktorfox
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Topics: Sex, TV

Wednesday, 16 March 2016

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"Oy Vey!"

Having already scraped well beneath the bottom of numerous barrels in an attempt to attract, hold and retain any weekend viewers, BBCTV has seemingly dragged itself into the 21st Century and discovered that sex sells!

Still shuddering with orgasmic delight at the success of their recent sham historical comedy, 'Whore and Piece', overpaid BBC executives have been scouring the libraries for more classics to generally fuck up, literally and metaphorically!

While still attempting to erase the semen stains from their Saville Row suits at the recent sight of Tom Huddleston's anus - while he screwed some bimbo actress to the wall - overweight, sweaty executives cannot get enough tit and arse on screen fast enough.

Thus, due to lack of any original ideas the BBC are soon to inflict upon the addled-brained soap and reality show British viewers a plethora of kinky sex and foul language posing as entertainment.

Having rounded up a motley ensemble of would-be actors and attractive big breasted bimbo's it's ready for the off and anything goes…or in most cases......cums!

First out of the trap is a £21 million travesty of 'Versailles', for those not acquainted with this classic read on:
In 1667, 28-year-old all-powerful king of France, Louis XIV, decides to build the greatest palace in the world - Versailles. But drained budget, affairs and political intrigues complicate things.

Of course given the attention span of the average BBC viewer such a storyline would be a ratings disaster, therefore in the BBC draft Louis XIV will be played by a (generally) naked George Blagden who will be suitably well hung.

As Louis XIV (14 to those unfamiliar with Roman numerals) he will be seen banging the arse off of at least six page three endowed 'actresses' per episode in a variety of positions to suit every perversion. At a rough count young George will have got through at least 99% of the female cast by series end, as for the 'budget' the only thing 'drained' will be George.

For those male viewers still up for even more 'swonnicle agitating' Tom Hardy will follow through in 'Taboo' which, from all accounts has nothing to do with perfume and everything to do will rampant nookie…..keep exercising those wrists lads!

Still gagging for more 'armchair exercise'?....then how about the sexed up return of 'psych thriller' 'The Fall' wherein-if you are lucky, ageing -X-Factor hottie Gillian Anderson may well be airing her beaver and boobs while servicing 'Fifty Shades' hunk Jamie Dornan.

Britain's big four supermarket chains are reported to have increased orders with Kimberly-Clark in anticipation of a rush on tissues, you have been advised, make haste or be disappointed!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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