In a dramatic announcement, the Queen advocated the return of the death penalty last night after her nipples exploded at a gala dinner due to a botched boob job.
The dinner was the first public engagement that the Queen had attended since her recent breast augmentation by a top Harley Street physician.
Expert surgeon, Professor J. Caringbunny had carried out the procedure to change the Queen's saddlebags into pert 44D puppies and originally she was said to be delighted with the results. However at the dinner last night, attended by such dignitaries as George W Bush and Bob Carolgees, the Queens breasts inexplicably detonated.
"There was chaos," said one unnamed dinner guest, "She was in the middle of a speech about orphans or something and suddenly there was a flash and a loud pop. My ears were ringing and when the smoke had cleared, I could see that the Queens tits had exploded."
Three guests were believed to have been slighly singed in the incident which police say could have been an assassination attempt.
"American undercover sources in the Sudan have told us that Al Queda have been experimenting with a semtex gell," said investigating officer Constable Shifty O'Hooligan, "it is possible that Professor Caringbunny used this gel in the Queen's boob job. If this is the case then he will be beheaded for treason. We're not fecking about here!"
The discovery of Professor Caringbunny's link to radical terrorism sheds light on an earlier incident when French President Jacques Chirac's crotch exploded following a penile extention. The surgeon who carried out the operation? You guessed it, Professor J. Caringbunny.