The legendary vocalist Bing Crosby, who recently helped David Cameron back into No 10, has been given a bong - he is now Sir Bong Cosby and is currently out on bail in the US after allegations against him of sexual misbehaviour.
The old groaner has denied any wrong doing. He told a group of journalists that he was sorry they were missing Christmas but they 'could always dream of a White Christmas'.
Meanwhile David Cameron has defended giving a Bong to Bing. 'He helped the democratic machine to go the right way' he explained.
Bing was heard crooning into his soup as he lapped up all the publicity. 'In the days I was with Frank and the mafia' he confessed 'I did say some things I regret but they were said in Private and Mrs Thatcher had just come back from Bongo Bongo land. That is where all the people honoured in the New Year's Honours list have free travel'.