Southern Britain is today preparing itself for the onslaught of winter and the Met Office has issued the following weather warning.
Snow is on the way to the South of England with falls of up to about a quarter of a millimetre expected. This will inevitably cause chaos throughout the region.
Local TV channels are advised to make up preposterously overblown items about the possible dire consequences of the cold snap, and in particular, they should put the wind up the elderly and vulnerable with tales of pensioners perishing in Arctic-like conditions, being found dead in their homes after having not been seen for three weeks and the like.
It is expected that traffic will grind to a halt and that all schools and public buildings in the Capital will close for the duration of the bad weather.
Mayor and King of London, Ken Livingstone, will most likely set up a special task-force to deal with the crisis.
A spokesman for the Government, who didn't want to be identified, but is thought to sit on the board of one of the big-three supermarkets as a non-executive director said:
"Well whereas it would be perhaps seen as over-exaggerating the scale of the problem a bit, then nevertheless, I think people should panic and go out and buy up stuff just in case"
The Spoof says that if you know somebody that you think could fall victim to these conditions be sure to call round and scare the pants off them just in case they haven't seen the Met Office warning.
Meanwhile Scotland and the North of England enjoy the first proper snowfall of the year and carry on pretty much as usual.