Written by Bobby Dazzler
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Friday, 6 November 2015

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The Moon

Following the roaring success of this year's Christmas John Lewis advert featuring a lonely old man living on the moon a government minister has come up with a unique solution to help all old, lonely, elderly, people.

Norman Bygate, MP for Stafford North today addressed the commons. 'I viewed this heart-wrenching advert and, like millions of other people across the country, was left in floods of tears for hours afterwards. That poor old man is in desperate need of company and it breaks my heart to think of him all alone over Christmas. What we should be doing is rounding up all lonely old people everywhere and sending them to the moon to live. This would give the advert man some much needed company and it will also get them out of our way.'

His suggestion was met with general approval and has opened up a debate on how little we care, as a society, for our elderly. 'Of course' he continued 'We wouldn't just send them there and ignore them. That would be extremely callous. Just like the little girl in the advert we can all spy on them using telescopes.'

Following his proposals a government task-force has been set up with plans to re-locate as many old people as possible to the moon by this time next year. To qualify for the programme they must live on their own and have no regular visitors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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