Written by Bobby Dazzler
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Saturday, 24 October 2015

image for Corbyn's Plans To Turn Downing Street into Refugee Camp
A Refugee

Jeremy Corbyn has today vowed that he would turn Downing Street into a refugee centre.

Speaking from one of the spare bedrooms in his North London detached house, Corbyn said this: "We need to show compassion. We need to show the world we are prepared to do something.

"If I were Prime Minister one of the first things I would do is hold a raffle in Syria. I've got a tombola somewhere they can borrow. The winning ticket holders would then be given the keys to Number 10 and first class tickets on the next flight over. They would then be free to invite any family and friends they wanted to join them.

"When all the houses in Downing street are occupied they would have full use of nearby St James's park. My only concern is it might be too noisy for them, especially during the rush hour. Also the nearest tube station is at least a 10-15 minute walk away."

When asked how he would conduct cabinet business Mr Corbyn had a ready answer.

"We would take it in turns to meet at each other's houses. We've all got spare rooms so that shouldn't be a problem. I'm planning to have an extension built with my Prime Minister money so obviously meeting here would be totally impractical and too dusty.'"

Angela Merkel, among others, has praised Jeremy Corbyn for his vision and had this to say: "Mr Corbyn is an inspiration to us all. If anyone has got his mobile number I would like to give him a call. I'm sure he could give me some good ideas."

Jeremy Corbyn has also said he would paint the door of Number 10, and all the surrounding railings bright red.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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