Written by T. Loaf
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Monday, 28 September 2015

At Downing Street, Mr and Mrs Cameron have vacated two rooms in the attic to create space for a Somalian family of 13. "We all need to pull our fingers out", explained Mr Cameron enigmatically.

Rooms at Buckingham Palace were not yet available, explained a spokesman for Her Majesty, due to a general shortage of spigots and door handle sets in the capital, adding "We hope to have the situation under control by Easter."

The German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, welcomed 200 refugees into her palatial abode with the somewhat unsettling words, "Just feel at home".

"It's nor Damascus," said Abdul Duldul from Syria, "but I like it".

The Vatican also opened its portals, Pope Francis offering to donate his vestments and cassocks as bed sheets. Over 100 families from Mali and Congo now reside alongside and among the Pontiff and his 'men'.

In Brussels, MEPs were asked to remove their table-tennis and billiards tables and clear the bowling alleys and Gameboy hot spots in the main EU building to provide room for almost one thousand refugees from Scotland who had lost their way.

"I'm not sure what's going on," said EU President Juncker. "I've never heard of Arbroath. Is it really in Chad? And who knows where we can play table-tennis now, but of course we all have to make sacrifices."

Exemplary indeed..

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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