Written by Rob Barratt
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Wednesday, 9 September 2015

image for Elizabeth Waynes
Elizabeth Waynes

Fans of Queen Elizabeth took to Twitter today to celebrate her overtaking Wayne Rooney's England scoring record. As she has been on the throne for 63 years and Rooney is only 30 it is clear who has wayned the longest.

The national anthem has been re-written to finish with "Long to wayne over us. God save our team". A Palace spokesperson said "Elizabeth is over the moon. It's a great filip for her. On Twitter Rooney said "Monarchs!" This feudal go on for a long time.

Elizabeth, as header state, says she got a kick out of breaking the record and hopes that her team Windsor a lot of possession in France. Harry, as he often does, scored too and, in his favourite Nazi outfit, dominated the right wing. So the Germans are on top as usual.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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