Written by Dick Sheerer
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Friday, 10 July 2015

With nothing left to lose, a rag-tag team of Middle Eastern Terrorists hijacked Rupert Murdoch's Lear Jet, beheaded the pilot, and took the tabloid mogul hostage - according to an NSA official who planned the mission. Speaking on the condition of anonymity, the secret agent said the objective of so-called "Operation Rupert Murderock" was to extort a billion dollars from the tycoon and split the proceeds with the terrorists.

But during the flight to Yemen things went horribly wrong when Mr. Murdoch convinced the hijackers that the true enemy of Islam was the CEO at The Spoof, Paul Lowton, a trillionair who publishes blasphemous cartoons and insulting jokes about Mohammad on a daily basis. His ploy was so persuasive that the fools reprogrammed the GPS coordinates into the autopilot system and headed straight to The Spoof's corporate headquarters.

Known for his cunning prowess in the publishing arena, Rupert Murdoch tried one of his classic power plays, turning the situation to his advantage by offering his services to extract the ransom money from his arch-rival. He chose Lowton because The Spoof's growing popularity encroached on Murdoch's market share and threatened to topple his empire. So Lowton was a force to be reckoned with and the day of reckoning had come.

Much to his Chagrin, Mr. Murdoch's scheme was foiled by the dastardly terrorists as soon as they crashed his jet into The Spoof building killing all on board. Meanwhile Paul Lowdon was at the local pub getting shit-faced drunk, and his website remained online because The Spoof servers were tucked safely away inside a linen cabinet in the laundry room in Lowton's basement, the only part of the house that was not destroyed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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