Written by Jack Bromby
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Topics: Universe, dictator, evil

Thursday, 2 July 2015

A 26 year old man who wishes to become Supreme Overlord of the universe has been stopped from building a Supreme Command Centre on his property in Northamptonshire because his garden now falls outside the village boundary.

Dark Lord Simon Smith, aged 26, of West Haddon, has plans to take over the entire universe and wants to build a command centre in his garden which would assist in the execution of his duties he would face as an evil dictator of the universe.

However, Daventry District Council's local plan - which sets out the official village confines to prevent over development - has drawn the boundary through his property, leaving his house in West Haddon but his garden in open countryside.

It means any development in his garden is banned under rules to stop 'infill' which means the long-term joining-up of villages by building houses round their edges.

Dark Lord Smith said: "The logic defeats me.

"This whole fiasco means I'm going to have to retire and choose another career option. I was thinking about opening up a lemonade stand."

His Supreme Greatness said he was particularly puzzled because permission for a another future Supreme Overlord, Dark Lord John Williams to build a nuclear missile site beyond the village boundary - between Northampton Road and Guilsborough Road - were approved on appeal last month.

The planning inspector who overturned the decision said he did so because the nuclear missile site would significantly address a shortage of employment in West Haddon.

The Dark Lord said he would love to legally challenge the council's ruling on his home but said, unlike his rival, Supreme Williams, he does not have the money required,

He said; "All I really wanted was to build a command centre that would assist in me obtaining what has always been my childhood dream. I hate the thought of being an unworthy mortal, but it seems I'm being forced down that road."

A spokesman for Daventry District Council told us: "We refused Overlord Smith's planning application for a supreme command centre on the grounds of an anomaly in the village borders. However we have advised His Excellency on other areas of the district where he could lodge a planning application to build a command centre."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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