In what's seen as a total break from tradition The Spoof can exclusively report that BBC flagship, the pile of turgid misery better known as EastEnders, will not have something terrible happen to a leading member of the cast in the Christmas Day episode!
Top exec's at TV Centre are said to be 'worried' about alienating the hardcore misery gluttons and ghouls who love the show but they have been persuaded to go in a radical new direction by the scriptwriters.
A source close to Dot Cotton told us that the episode's 'drum scene' will see drinkers in The Queen Vic look on in disbelief as sprightly ex-Carry On star Babs Windsor, who plays Peggy Mitchell, vaults onto the bar totally naked but for a sprig of holly in her teeth, does a hand-stand and asks:
"How's this for a piggy-bank?" before dissolving into her trademark cheeky giggle.
Soap watchers believe if the Beeb go ahead with this scene then it will be the first time that the programme has ever had the faintest hint of humour in it.
Long time fans may remember that Arthur Fowler was once though to have smiled in a scene but upon checking the script, it showed that he had only been portraying relieving himself of some 'trapped wind'
Industry insiders now believe that this leaves the way open for arch rivals Coronation Street to bump off somebody in a horrific bloodbath. We reckon it is most likely to be Norris or Emily Bishop.