Written by Breeze
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Topics: Santa

Friday, 1 December 2006

image for Santa's workshop closed down by BBC's Watchdog programme
The workshop lies dormant now

It looks like a bleak Xmas ahead for Santa after the BBC TV programme Watchdog slammed conditions in his workshop.

"The place itself was a disgrace," said a spokesman for the popular show,

"Elves were being made to work 24 hrs a day with the run up to Christmas and the condition the reindeer were in was, quite frankly, shocking. Many of them were living in filth without access to milk or cookies."

Mr Claus declined to comment today but head of the Elves and Reindeers union Mr Bob Elf told us,
"This is just typical of that big fat fecker. He sits on his arse all day while we do the work and then he swans about at Christmas getting all the glory."

Mr Claus is no stranger to controversy and, since the building of his workshop, it was widely rumoured that the North Pole was chosen because of it's draconian work laws.

"Santa pretends to be a nice guy, giving presents to kids and all but that's just his public persona, in reality he's very different." said Mr Elf to our reporters. "He's just a big, fat fecker." he reminded us.

The North Pole's work charter has been tightened recently after the tragic death of an Oomploompa at Willy Wonka's chocolate factory and government officials have told Santa that the workshop will remain closed until he stumps up the money to meet the proper safety criteria.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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