London - (Associated Mess): Not content with grovelling to the voting public for foisting on them the Saddam WMD fantasy, the dodgy dossier, friendship with George Bush AND the UK's involvement in the slave trade, UK Prime Monster Tony Blair is being urged by a policy stink-tank to say sorry to the country for Heather Mills.
This last-ditch rapprochement bid may be a trump card as thousands of disgruntled British citizens demand an end to the nauseating drivel of seeing Miss Goody Two Shoes milk the headlines ahead of her tedious divorce from equally tedious has-been rocker Paul McCartney.
Blair has been huddled all week with his policy wonks thrashing out a statement strategy which, some say, would sympathise with the mass of British voters who attribute their winter projectile vomiting syndrome to Ms Mills.....but without actually blaming her in any way for being the gormless, bleached-out excrescence that many in the country believe her to be.
"Someone's got to do it", said a No 10 aide, "otherwise there will be centuries of angst and blame for ever more that make the slave trade business seem like a trading glitch in the Treasury forecast."
Heather Mills is 39 (with a run).