The Spoof can report that the striking Pearly Kings and Queens of London are set to return to work after taking their case to arbitration.
As we reported earlier the dispute started last week and looked to be at an impasse, until the intervention of no less a man than Sir Elton John.
Sir John told our reporter, "This had all got out of hand and both sides were being big kids and refusing to give an inch. So I offered to play an open air gig in Lambeth Walk if Ken Livingstone would accede to the Kings and Queens demands."
We spoke with Stanley Jobbins from the Firebrand Pearly Shop. In reaction to Sir Elton's comments, he said, "This is a dispute where there are no winners or losers. It's Pearly Kinging and Queening that wins here overall"
When we asked him what exactly he meant by that statement he replied, "It means we beat that little newt-fancier hollow." Mr Jobbins was unable to comment further because as part of his agreement he has signed a no-gloating clause.
Mayor of London Ken Livingstone was also approached to ask his feelings on the dispute. "This is a dispute where there are no winners or losers." He said, "It's London that wins here overall"
Sir Elton finally commented "I don't believe it they're still at it" before he left in a huff, though it may have been a Hummer or even a fit of pique.