Written by LEDHEAD
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Monday, 30 March 2015

image for Female motorcycle gang, the Satan Sluts, swamp Whitley Bay in unnecessary riot.
The Satan Sluts heading North after carnage in Whitley Bay

The ladies motorcycle club, the Satan's Sluts have been causing chaos along East Coast seaside resorts over the weekend. The police have been run ragged and one force in particular at Whitley Bay - were stretched to their very limits. The gang congregated outside the Arcade Fish Restaurant at about 6.00pm on Sunday and demanded 31 fish and chip suppers to go. There was a lengthy wait for their order which resulted in a fruit machine being turned upside down and a pickled egg being stuffed down the trousers of a jaw hung pensioner.

No sooner had their food order been served to them, the 'Sluts' then spilled onto the street, causing further havoc for passing motorists. Gang leaders Brenda and Bertha started throwing chips and bits of fish onto passing car's windscreens causing gulls to swoop and vehicles to swerve. One Vauxhall Cavalier ploughed into a lamp post, where the two lads from the motor were dragged from the car and stripped of their trousers and pants. Fifty per cent of the Police were at another incident down at the beach involving two naked gang members Pearl and Doris who prevented them getting to the Arcade Chippie in good time.

As the police arrived at the restaurant about half an hour later, they found themselves being beaten back by 31 rioters from the MC club. The girls temper had flared after two passing louts shouted at the gang calling them dykes. As anyone who has met the gang before and witnessed the way they pursue the male of the species, you would be correct in thinking that the boy's welfare was of grave concern. One lad' s backside was roasted in the deep fat fryer in the Chippie, whilst the other was chained to one lady's hog and dragged round town. Luckily, they both survived their ordeal.

The situation was finally brought to heel after a squad of riot police from Newcastle fought back the gang using rubber bullets, shields and tear gas. No arrests were made as the gang tore off on their bikes giving v-signs to the police and headed northwards..

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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