Written by LEDHEAD
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Topics: Guitar

Thursday, 26 March 2015

image for Megasauras Guitarist Duane Hyman returns from the dead
Electrical shockers from Duane Hyman.

Ancient Rocker Duane Hyman and guitarist for the band Megasauras held a news conference today at a secret hotel in London at the request of the band's manager Rocky Road.

Duane's life commitment has been to take everything to the max. He was the original owner of the volume 11 Marshal amp, the first to have his hair longer than his arse, reputed to have downed two litres of bourbon a day, snorted a small mountain of coke, dabbled in heroin, slept with 6 hookers a night, had a glue problem and smoked weed in order to come down. Duane has been a legend and has given the two fingers to the system all his life.

On entering the small conference area, a small huddle of journalists sat watching Duane who was sprawled across the adjacent table. Next to him and talking about his first solo album was the band's manager Mr Road. As Mr Road mumbled on about this and that for about ten minutes, various members of the press were whispering and looking perplexed at the lifeless body of Mr Hyman. One journalist eventually asked if he was OK and it was at that point when his manager checked his pulse. There was a few moments of silence and then his manager said, 'He's dead'.

Within seconds, Mr Road had Duane's personal defibrillator out and giving his numb torso shock after shock. Fortunately Duane came round smiled at everyone and then started snoring. There was complete silence from the journalists as they studied the rocker's wrinkled forehead, near white hair and dribbling mouth. One journalist has horrified to find out the Duane was only 19 and being awakened from the dead at least once a week.

Duane has written a solo album called 'My last breath' and is due for release on the White Lightening label at the end of this week.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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