Written by Josh_Cluderay
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Friday, 13 March 2015

With the possibility that David Cameron could be "empty-chaired" in the TV election debates, Ed Miliband has been prepping for his appearance by debating an empty chair in private rehearsals.

"Ed is very concerned about credibility", an insider told us, "and that's why he's spent the last four days arguing with his furniture. He doesn't want to underestimate the opposition."

The Labour party leader is so far said to have participated in practice debates with a swivel chair, an armchair, a stool and a chaise longue. Sources say he is performing better than expected, sounding confident on education and statesmanlike on the NHS. However, he was also described as 'flustered' when defending his economic competence to the armchair, and reportedly fell to pieces while attempting to justify his plans to cut Winter Fuel Allowance to the stool.

"We're extremely confident", boasted our source, however, "he looks comfortable, relaxed, and has all four feet planted firmly on the ground... no, wait, I'm thinking of the armchair. Ed looks terrible."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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