Written by Patrick Parkinson
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Saturday, 7 March 2015

image for Asim Qureshi describes Satan as a "beautiful and polite human being"

A member of the charity organisation CAGE by the name of Asim Qureshi has come to the defence of Satan and described him as a "beautiful and polite human being who we would be lucky to call a friend".

The statement was issued by Mr Qureshi, shortly after the Prince of Darkness was blamed for a recent forest fire in Brazil.

"The Vatican have immediately blamed Satan for this, but I used to email the devil regularly and he made it clear that the only reason for him resorting to evil deeds was because he was constantly harassed by the police and the local churches." said Mr Qureshi. "We should all be ashamed of ourselves that we drove Satan to set the forest fire and if possible take legal actions against our own governments."

This statement comes just weeks after Asim Qureshi also described ISIS member Jihadi John as "a really nice guy, the sort you'd let cat-sit whilst you're on holiday for 2 weeks."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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