London - (Associated Mess): As he stands outside a Whitehall, SW1 Cash Pervertors outlet clutching the ubiquitous black plastic sack full of pawnable looted Downing Street objets d'art, the Prime Monster's blind trust portfolio bagman Lord Levy is clearly a broke(n) man.
A double-whammy of bad news this morning saw Labour Party creditors calling in some £30 million of election loans following the fiasco of recent bungs-for-peerages arrests.
And a 6am knock on M'Lord's unique North London hacienda-style Moorish bijou property (sic) by the investigating cops brought the news that his personal bank accounts have just been frozen after traces of toxic sushi-derivative Plutonium 210 were found at his office.
The Whitehall Cash Pervertors shop has seen it all before, of course. As a unique trading tool of former Science Minister and Labour sperm donor Lord Sainsubury's retail empire, it was seminal in recommending worthy potential recipients of life peerages in the run up to the 2005 election.
But with Xmas just around the corner and a run on the ever-weakening US dollar, loans-for-ermine backers are now demanding their money back. Or else.
There is even talk of an imminent bankruptcy petition being filed before the Royal Courts of Justice this week - a move that would ironically square the loans fiasco circle as thousands of territorial army-style bailiff retainers are recalled to active duty in preparation for seizure of assets. And the world's largest ever car boot sale, to be held at premises formerly called The Dome.