Whitehall, London - (Associated Mess): Tessa Jowl's Department for Vultures, Mediocrity and Spots has confirmed today that it has given the go-ahead for the erection of a massive new Trevi-style fountain at the foothills of Downing Street which, it is hoped, will finance all the UK's political donations needs in the future.
The news comes following the announcement that the Trevi fountain has been a phenomenal success for the Rome Municipality which regularly rakes out mountains of cash from the iconic water feature. Cash that is tossed in by tourists, post-confessional penitents and wannabee political donors.
The novel Whitehall water-feature will be a based on cutting-edge digital designs for a 'smart fountain' which will automatically allocate any cash deposited on a totally impartial random basis, while at the same time noting the particulars of donors exhibiting typical tendencies and characteristics of potential Life Peerage candidacy.
The iconic new Whitehall landmark will be operated by a new wi-fi zone that is being installed by the local Council as part of its modernization scheme for the area.
This could facilitate a text-messaging service whereby donations to the fountain scheme could be made by credit card instead of the usual fountain currency of coins, gold ingots and intimate items of body-piercing jewellery.
The proposal has been sent to the planning authorities and whose adjudication is expected 'imminently'.