Written by Duff
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Topics: Dogs

Monday, 27 November 2006

image for Digger's Flame Will Burn Brightly in Our Memory
Digger will be chewing on God's slippers tonight

Spontaneous Human Combustion is a phenomenon that we believed was always associated with human beings, quite naturally - until now that is because The Spoof can report on what we think is most probably the first case of elective spontaneous canine combustion.

The amazing story about Digger the Daschund is now taken up by his owner Betty Blowsit.

"Well it was last weekend when it happened during that freezing cold spell" says an impecunious Betty who's on State Benefits and so many tablets that if you shook her she'd rattle.

"Arthur, my husband, had just put our last pound in the electric meter and after that kept the heater going for another two minutes we began to freeze. It was awful.

Then quite suddenly little Digger jumped into the empty fireplace and looked at us in a sad way, a little tear ran down his cheek. Before we could do anything he suddenly made a sort of cracking noise and then burst into flames. We couldn't do anything to save him as the heat and flames he was generating beat us back.

I don't know what dogs are made from, but do you know? He kept burning all night and most of the following day. The smell was awful but we appreciated the little fella's efforts"

A smiling Arthur quipped:

"That's right. Mind, pity he was only a Daschund and not a Great Dane. We may well have been sorted for the rest of the winter otherwise"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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