Written by BadgerPatroll
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Topics: Terrorism, Jesus

Sunday, 26 November 2006

image for Jesus Christ shot dead by anti-terrorism police
No more lamb hugging for Mr. Christ

Scotland Yard was yesterday forced to apologise after shooting dead the Second Coming of Our Lord And Saviour, Mr Jesus H Christ.

The incident occurred at Stockwell tube station last night, after Mr Christ was alleged to have been moving "in a mysterious way".

Police spokesman Basil Dullard said that the police were not to blame, because "He looked Middle Eastern and had a very peculiar way of moving," and that blood seen on Mr Christ's forehead and hands was thought to have come from bomb-making or some other similar terrorising behaviour.

This is likely to cause a diplomatic crisis between Britain and The Democratic Republic of Heaven, with Heaven expected to react bullishly, citing previous agreements to unleash seven-headed beasts, whores of Babylon and other WMDs.

Tony Blair PM commented, "I'm sure that the End Times predicted in Revelation can be avoided if we can simply open a diplomatic channel with Mr Jahweh. This was an unavoidable error, and sadly necessary to protect us from the possibility of a terrorist killing maybe 100 people."

The Apocalypse is expected to last for all eternity and cause in the region of six billion deaths.

Richard Littlejohn of The Sun commented, "Not only were the Police completely right in their actions, but I bet this filthy scum was a dole scrounger and an illegal immigrant. You couldn't make it up."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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