The Chilly Report, an investigation into the Middle East war from the early 2000s, has been five years in the writing and is almost ready for release.
Your fearless reporter has managed to obtain a copy of the final version of the Chilly Report which will bring cold comfort to a number of prominent people.
Tony Blare, the former prominent person, has been lambasted in the report for misleading the nation although he can take comfort from the conclusion that 'anyone else in his position would have done the same.'
This sensational conclusion means that no action can be taken against Blare (who recently changed his name to Allswell) unless it is taken against everyone else who 'would have done the same'.
Blare, apparently, was lost in an immense bush and the only way out was to agree to everything the bush demanded. So Blare 'discovered' some WMD's (women made devils) which justified the launching of a war against the sad damn man man in Iraq.