Written by KendoMonkey
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Sunday, 26 November 2006

image for Cannibal says human liver tastes like fava beans
Mmmm...innards

UK, Britain: Cannibals across the country are in outrage today at news that one of their number has broken the traditional vow of silence regarding the taste of their prey: humans. Dork Jenkins from East Staffordshire, broke the silent vow by declaring yesterday:

"You don't know what it's like to only like to eat people. It's hard work! They're sooo tasty. The human liver tastes like fava beans!"

The declaration has been heavily publicised throughout the world and most world-leaders have spoken in outrage about the incident which occured during mass at St. Paul's Cathedral last Sunday.

"It's sad to hear," said George W Bush. "I always thought it would taste like chicken."

Said UK Premier, Tony Blair: "This. Is a sad time for our people. Previously. We had assumed that human beings would. Taste. Very bad. Now, we have. This news."

Troy Gibbons of the group Institution for Caramelised People (ICP) said he was very distraught at the coverage so far received:

"We do like to keep a low profile, us cannibals. Well, you see, you get a bit of coverage and everyone wants to try some. You get these trendy bars in Soho trying it out, Jamie Oliver no doubt will have a recipe which uses a lot of cinnamon and cardamom pods and the like. Anyway, it just makes our lives seem silly."

Film buffs are also said to be in protest at the announcement. In the hit comedy "Silence of the Lambs", serial killer Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter is heard announcing that he ate a victim's liver with "some fava beans and a nice chianti". Now, some are asking for the line to be re-written in order to be a more rounded meal.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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