Written by Mark James
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Monday, 19 January 2015

image for 'Dome' to keep out 'foreign weather' - UKIP
British clouds for British people?

Nigel Garage, leader of the UKIPs, has launched a new policy offensive to counter the threat posed by a rampant Green Party in the UK.

If elected, the UKIPs have confirmed that they will erected a dome over the UK which will ensure that no 'foreign weather' can enter the country and that there is no 'European climate change'.

Speaking at a press conference detailing their new environmental policy, Garage said "Our members are increasing concerned about the black clouds in the sky - the UKIPs pledge that, in future, there will only be white, British clouds. In addition, our branches in Norfolk and Kent have noticed a distinct smell of garlic in the air on brisk days. This has to stop! I like Europeans as much as the next person but I want them to stay in their own country with their stinky food, funny language and weird weather. We don't need it and, if you vote the UKIPs, you won't get it!"

The UKIPs denied reports that Mrs Garage (who is a German from Germany) was heard to say "And if you carry on like this, you won't be getting 'it' for a long time."

The Greens announced at the weekend that they are now the largest membership organisation in the UK. Last week, they overtook the combined membership of the UKIPs, Conservatives, Labour, RAC, Tufty Club and the Northallerton United Bowls, Hunting and Ludo Society. Green Party leader, Maisie Daisy, said that their next target was to have more members than Justin Beiber has hangers-on.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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