Written by Robin Hutton
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Monday, 15 December 2014

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Prince Harry looking worse for wear

It has been revealed that the Royal Games have been plunged into shame following allegations of drug misuse by its high profile patron, Prince Harry.

The red-head has admitted that pre-race, mid-race and post-race drug sessions involving mainly him, have been a regular feature of the games, but urged us not to tell his Grandmother.

Speaking in an interview, Harry said, 'I obviously wanted to focus mainly on the sport, but it is inevitable that the world's media picks up on these 'misdemeanours' and tries to make a big deal out of the abuse of Class A substances. I don't really see what the fuss is about, as I wasn't competing.'

When asked if the drug use extended to any of the athletes, Harry shook his head and was heard to say, 'No, just me.'

Harry is no stranger to controversy, having relatively recently been photographed playing pool with no cue. It is believed that a particularly potent form of LSD was responsible for the debacle and Harry can clearly be seen attempting a trick shot using only a glass of Rum.

The multi-sport, Paralympic style event including Wheelchair basketball, Sitting Volleyball and Indoor Rowing is largely made up of injured ex-servicemen and women.

Harry drew inspiration after seeing a similar event in America and is even alleged to have taken part in mock rowing and volleyball competitions at a house party in Miami.

A journalist caught up with him not long after the party and reported that Harry was clearly 'thrilled' at what he'd seen. 'He was talking at length and considerable speed and the adrenalin was obviously flowing. He was breathless, red-faced and wild-eyed from the physical exertion.

The Royal Family declined to comment.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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