Written by Auntie Jean
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Friday, 12 December 2014

image for Plastic Covers To Be Fitted To Valuable Furniture And Carpets In Buckingham Palace As Corgi Damage Exceeds £20m
corgi menace

Kept from the public eye for decades, the extent of damage to furniture and carpets at Buckingham Palace has been revealed by ex-maid, Eileen Over in her serialised memoirs. The revelations, from the book, "Please Housetrain One's Corgis" ISBN A23PIS published by Windslord and Godfrey and currently serialised in "Duke Monthly" include many anecdotes about the corgis urinating all over the place, from executed former staff.

The Welsh Corgis are kept away from the public and Princess Anne's dogs following one corgi having to be put down after a bull terrier ate its leg. The corgis travel to Cardiff by helicopter daily to be fed on prime legs of Welsh lamb. They are second in pecking order to The Queen, ranking above Prince Philip.

A financial auditor looking into reducing costs for the queen has recommended covering carpets, Chippendale furniture and The Duke Of Edinburgh's legs with plastic sheeting. Our Royal Correspondent, Queen Mudder was unavailable for comment this morning, due to working on a different assignment and accidentally leaving his cellphone on the desk.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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