Written by Auntie Jean
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Wednesday, 3 December 2014

image for Sprouts Will Be Re-stocked In Time For Christmas - Supermarkets Claim
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Housewives hoarding brussels sprouts and those small sausages to put around turkeys for Christmas have caused panic buying, with major stores claiming that there will not be enough for every shopper if people greedily buy up the stocks now.

Groups of mischievous students shouting "they're running out of sprouts" in stores on Christmas Eve have caused stampedes in the past and now "There are plenty of sprouts here" notices go up in advance on the run up to Christmas.

Sprout stampedes can be lethal so most latge stores will have legions of police horses to ensure sudden fighting and pushing does not trigger a deadly crush situation. A repeat of the 2012 sprout disaster "could never happen again" according to police sources.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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