Written by Auntie Jean
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Wednesday, 19 November 2014

image for Isle of Wight Latest - New Airport Terminal Name Is Leaked
Isle of Wight scenery

The new flagship £5000 Isle of Wight Bembridge airport terminal is to be named T.8 in an official ceremony tomorrow according to leaked documents. The product of ten years of planning, expensive ground breaking engineering achievements and dogged determination, the cutting edge air terminal will be opened by Royal baby Prince George tomorrow.

Hi-tec traffic control using PS2 technology has meant that it is still impossible to fly to the airport or from the airport to anywhere, but word is that there will be a lot of new important looking signposts around the Bembridge area.

The "floating" runway, reclaimed from nearby molehils and supported on a "raft" of 6 million empty cider "P.E.T." bottles gathered from the BMX park will mean that longer pleasure flights around the Island's detention centres will be now possible. New hi-tec D.N.A scanners will mean queueless immigration control and a colossal "in terminal" off-licence Portocabin has been erected in a nearby field to give the illusion of a duty free style environment.

The other six terminals are said to be still at the fictitious stage.
The Isle of Wight's popularity is mainly due to its curious "time stretching" properties. A week in the Isle of Wight has often been reported as feeling like a month in Grange over Sands. Scores of activities for the over eighties such as whist and beetle drives, bingo and shuffling around a room to Glenn Miller sequence dancing music. The old saying still applies, "If you're tired of the Isle of Wight then you're probably worn out and should fill a hot water bottle and go to bed.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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