Written by Duff
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Friday, 24 November 2006

image for Euro MEPs Outlaw National Dance
Break dancing may be outlawed

More meddling looks set to be likely at the hands of Brussels mandarins and satsumas. The Spoof understands that draft European legislation is being checked out by Euro MEPs with an eye to bringing it in pronto.

The barmy laws will be aimed at outlawing national dance from member states across the EU and surprise surprise, who's gonna get in the neck big style? Yes us! That's who.

This is because although most forms of national dance in Europe are completely brutal; Morris dancing is by far and away the worst of the lot.

Top Euro-MEP, Kurt Jankers (Euro-Minister for prancing about issues), who's heading up this initiative told the Spoof's European Correspondent, Napoleon De Gaulle, "Europe must act as one to eradicate this menace. Tourists can't move without being subjected to each others national dancing and we believe that it's time to put a stop to it.

By way of example; I was once in your beautiful Lake District at a pub when the night was totally ruined by a load of fellows in smocks who cavorted around with sticks and a pig's bladder. This sort of nonsense is just unacceptable in 2006"

Duff says:

Single us out why don't you pal? What a Janker! We won't stand by and see our traditions eroded by the likes of him so here's what to do:

Get together in groups of six or more with somebody who can do a bit on the squeeze-box and form your own Morris sides and let's show 'em what made us great.

Be sure to get your free "Mind your own effing business Jankers!" car sticker (not available at any retailers)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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