Written by Anne of Cleavage
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Thursday, 13 November 2014

image for European Court rules that Germany can put Illegal Immigrants onto the next European Space Shuttle
Eastern Europe - Nobody lives there anymore as they've all moved to Scunthorpe

A Landmark decision by the European Court that allows European governments to send Illegal Immigrants into Outer Space on the European Space Shuttle has been welcomed by the British and German governments. The ruling concerns a family of twenty seven gypsies, all brothers and sisters, and some of them husbands and wives as well, whom the German government wanted to send on the next Space Shuttle which is due to land on Hailey's Comet in 10 years time.

Judges held that the excursion was legal. The Chief Justice said it could even be fun for the family, who have spent the last three years illegally camped at a bus shelter in Munich, saying:

"The Illegal Immigrants will be able to float around in the gravity-free environment of the Shuttle, take upside-down selfies and make satellite-phone calls to their relatives in Eastern Europe. They will be able to travel the Galaxy and will become Illegal Aliens in another solar systems."

British Prime Minister David Cameron said "Hurray!"

However, the Council for Illegal Immigrants reacted angrily. Its Director, Spoilsport Chakrabarti said:

"We don't find this ruling or this cynical spoof news article remotely funny. Illegal Immigrants are entitled to the protection of the law. They bring many benefits to a country, such as employment and greater spending. Thousands of Borders Agency staff and immigration lawyers depend on Illegal Immigrants for their jobs. Their contribution to the economy increases the GDP. Besides, how can Illegal immigrants claim housing benefit, NHS treatment and free school meals when they are floating around in Outer Space?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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